Long Live The Queen

Thunder billowed as I watched the rain dilute the pool of blood surrounding my dying lover. My King.

I tore my white evening gown at the bottom, trying to get any piece of fabric to stop the blood from pouring out. I began to put the fabric on the wound when he grabbed my arm. He may have been weakening by the moment, but I could still feel his royal strength as he stopped me from saving him.

“What are you doing, Xavier?”

He didn’t answer. He let go of my arm and took the crown off of his head. He winced in pain as he handed it to me.

I repeated myself, “What are you doing, Xavier?”

Xavier whispered earnestly and tenderly, “Rule my kingdom well, Lilith. Put the crown on your head.”

I was stunned by his declaration, unable to speak. I saw his face become paler by the second, but his eyes continued to show his determination to see the crown on my head. I tried to put the white fabric back onto the wound, but this time he slapped my hand away. I gritted through my teeth, “Do you want to die, Xavier?”

“Lilith, please.” His smile had disappeared. I witnessed worry creep into his beautiful soul and worry crept into mine as I wondered what regret I would feel if I never let him see me as the ruler he had declared me to be.

I put the crown on. A wave of excitement and anticipation rushed over me for a brief moment. I envisioned my reign in my mind’s eye; rain falling on us brought me back to reality. I looked down at my dying lover and said, “Are you satisfied, my King?”

The smile never returned to Xavier’s face. His last words rung through the air around us:

Long live the Queen.

I watched his eyes lose their precious life as he took his last breath. I kissed his forehead one last time, whispering a faint “I love you.” I gently laid him on the pavement, leaving his cold body on the ground.

The glint of the knife that killed my lover caught my eye as I stood up. It was still stained red with his blood. I contemplated leaving the knife at the scene. Though a relatively weightless object, I knew that if I held it now it would carry a weight I didn’t know whether or not I could bear.

I quickly abandoned that thought and picked up the knife. I was right; there was a new weight to the weapon. The weight of guilt was there, but so was the weight of power. Perhaps the feeling of power came from my new crown.

Or perhaps the feeling of power came from knowing that I had just murdered my greatest obstacle to the throne- who just so happened to be my lover.

The power was enough to intoxicate, but I remained alert. Getting the crown was easier than I had previously anticipated.

Xavier didn’t fight for his life. He just gave me his… Willingly, refusing the help I offered. Did he know that the dress from which I tore the fabric off of was laced in poison? Did he know that I was the one who threw the knife into his side? Did he know I was trying to get the crown off his head?

When I saw worry enter his soul before I put on the crown, did I actually see the moment he realized what I had done?

The last thing I wanted was for Xavier to see the person I really am, but now I fear that is all he knew me as in those last moments of his life. A fear that chases me down. A fear never to be resolved because I took the answer’s life. A relentless fear.

Regardless, long live the queen.



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